she is the kim kardashian of front butts
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Everyone says I win the strip club
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize