i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
