Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
