Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
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