Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize