I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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