Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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