if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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