I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
