STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
