I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
