i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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