your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
