He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I wish I only lived at night.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
