He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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