When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
