I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
