I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
