Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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