Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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