she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
