My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
