I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
