We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize