whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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