he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
bring money and cleavage
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
