i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize