Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
