I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
