Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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