I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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