Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
