I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
