We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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