Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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