I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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