It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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