Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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