apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
