What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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