She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
