Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
