I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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