normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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