My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
