I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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