Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I wear drunk well.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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