Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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