Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
