Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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