I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
