You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
