brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
