I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
