Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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