no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
