Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
