you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
