Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
