Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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