haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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