Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
