so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
