I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Randomize
