This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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