they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
