So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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