she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize