Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
