When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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