i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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