He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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