Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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